Monday, 29 January 2007

flaming shits

This is a story from Pitchfork Media...playboy music...
Surely making a t-shirt for Playboy is not a good thing, right? I mean, that's totally not-credible, yeah?
So, I can play a musical instrument, therefore I'm "a musician", so here's my contribution to the limited edition playboy t-shirt range:

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

Bishop´s finger

There is a "row" about anti-discrimination laws in Britain, because religious groups are concerned this will mean their child adoption agencies will no longer be able to "tell gays to get lost".
The Archbishop of York on the Today programme, tried to explain why being "in conscience unwelcoming to gays" was entirely different from in conscience discriminating against black people.
Of course it´s different Archbishop! Very good, such a wonderful and beautiful thought!
I think it was Jesus who said,

"Love one another, but not if they´re homos!"

He also said,

“Let anyone among you who is heterosexual be the first to throw a stone at "the gays".”

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. But if you´re a gay, you can fuck right off mate. Urgh! It´s disgusting!”

Is it different to be "in conscience unwelcoming to Archbishops" than to disriminate against gays? The answer, I´m afraid, is yes.
We must all discriminate, with honour, against Archbishops.
I mean, look at them, the freaks! We can´t take sexual advice from people who aren´t getting any (gay or otherwise)...

Friday, 19 January 2007

walk away*

There is some "scandal" about apparent rascism on 'Big Brother' in Britain.
Rascism is bad.... but the in the case of 'BB', it's missing the point.
The point is that the whole programme is just a 'piece of shit', and getting mixed up in arguements about rascism, or voyeurism, is just a distraction from the real criticism everybody should be discussing: That it is an offensive piece of shit. Not racially offensive, just offensive, in general human terms. Soul sapping, mind numbing pointless wank, made by and starring cunts.
So people say you should "switch off Big Brother because it's rascist"... Fuck off. You are watching a programme featuring stupid fat fuckers and preening "shelebrities", and people are suprised when these people say stupid ill-educated stuff? Fuck me.
It's just shit, end of story. The media are taking the piss out of the public with shit like this.
*kinda stolen from bill hicks

Thursday, 18 January 2007

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

freak, not chic

weird people on the train in 2007:
1: A mother with baby in pram. Baby cries a little, and I hear angry shouting.
From an old man halfway down the carrriage. I thought to myself "no, that can't have happened, noone would do that. Strange."
But then I observed every time the baby made a noise (now I was looking, like a nosy old woman) this old man stared at it and started shouting incoherently(or maybe in Spanish, somtimes I get the two things confused) at it!. Apart from the mother, who looked a little embarrassed, noone else seemed to notice.
2: An almost empty train, I had a group of four chairs to myself, and was surrounded by empty groups of chairs.
Nice, I thought.
A young man gets on the train, looks around at all the empty space, and THEN, decides the only place to sit is directly opposite me!
So I moved my legs to let him in (wondering why he'd chose that seat).
I suppose that's not very strange. But once he's sat down, I glanced up from my book, and he was glaring angrily at me! I went straight back to my book, every so often peeking up to see if I was crazy or not; but no. For the entire journey, this little guy just sat and looked at me like I was the one invading HIS space, or something. Unnerving. I was glad, anyway, when he didn't try to murder me. I can cope with a little weirdness, but not murder.

Public Transport, yesterday:

Who would want to travel by car, when you can have so much fun watching other people instead!?
If I had a camera fone, I'd start a collection of haircuts and fat people. The only difficulty I have is occasionally having to stop myself from laughing out loud, and looking mental.

Tuesday, 9 January 2007

welcome to 2007!

1:Blair on climate change
what chance of doing anything then, if you can't expect people to change their behaviour?
I hope everyone isn't like TB, or we're all fucked, and annoyingly we'll be fucked before I die.
What is particulary angering about these Tony comments, is that they are badly informed. Of the alternative fuels for
airplanes, some pollute more, and hydrogen would make the size of the plane needed to carry the fuel impractical. I'm not making that up, it's the best science currently available.

So hoping for more efficient air-travel, unless we mean Zeppelins, is like hoping Tony Blair might become less of a complete cunt. It's not going to happen.

Anyway, the message from Optimus Tony Prime, is, "just keep on doing whatever you want, don't feel you 'have to save the planet', because you might get depressed or something."

He said: "Britain is 2% of the world's emissions. We shut down all of Britain's emissions tomorrow - the growth in China will make up the difference within two years."
But that's not a reason to not do something, you cocksucker.
Thousands of children are going to die next year, so why bother saving any this year? They're going to die anyway! It's as if we think, well x% of people get robbed every year, so I might as well rob people too, as it's going to happen regardless.
Definitely, the best plan, when faced with a problem, is to do nothing at all, and bury your head in the sand, hoping it will go away.

...And my favourite, from school "well Tony, if they jumped off a cliff, would you do that too?"

We can only hope his answer would be yes.

2:US attack in Somalia.
A new front on the "war on terror" has been opened, with the customary 'collateral damage'. It's disgusting, and depressing.
Fuck Amerikkka.

3.Tony Blair, in his second intellectually devoid moment of the week says..

"So the crimes that Saddam committed does not excuse the manner of his execution but the manner of his execution does not excuse the crimes.

Noone is saying the manner of his execution excuse anything! That is what Vaclav Havel called "evasive thinking". The crimes and the execution were both awful. Accepting the awfulness of one does not presuppose lessening the awfulness of the other.
Moreover, Tony Blair not actually being an idiot, this is purposefully misleading: He must know that the two awful things are not connected in that way. He makes the connection just as a way of excusing the awful thing he might be implicated in. He seems to be saying we should pick and choose between awful behaviour.
Whatever, he's a dick.

Saturday, 6 January 2007

r-type, but in real life

"Jeff Bezos is working to lower the cost of space flight"

..The man who "invented" is going into space tourism. Jolly good.
What the world needs in 2007 is another way for the fabulously rich to fritter away their cash, extravagantly, in the least efficient way possible. What do we want? An end to war, save the environment, U2 to split up...?
None of the above; what we all want is for rich idiots to fly up into space, have a look, and come back down again.

Now, I've seen the video on, and the spaceship looks pretty cool, I admit. And the idea of filling it full of the over-moneyed people of the world, and firing it into space, also attracts me. It's the coming back part I don't feel is necessary.

Perhaps someone could open a kind of "amusement park" next to the launch site, where visitors could pay a nominal fee, and fire bazookas at the spacecraft as it ascends into space. It would be "live action video-gaming".

Or, maybe Mr Bezos could fly the fuckers into space, then remotely open the door, sucking all the passengers out into space.
That would do the world a big favour.
In space, noone can hear you scream; which in this particular case would be a shame, but you can't change the laws of physics.
Still, we could shoot the spacecraft on the way back down, just for fun.

also worth reading is Terry Jones.

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

Pot calling the kettle shit

From today´s Guardian:

"Following the controversy surrounding the execution of Saddam, a US military official in Baghdad has said that they would have carried it out "very differently".

Major General William Caldwell said Saddam Hussein was dignified and courteous to US guards as they left him at a prison shortly before his execution.

He said the US had made no decisions concerning Saddam's hanging.

"If you're asking me 'would we have done things differently', yes we would have," he said."

The US would´ve done things differently?
What does he mean? Like this?

Or perhaps like this?

Because when it comes to being dignified about doing awful things, the US government is definitely the best organisation to talk to.