Saturday, 29 September 2007

bleep!

"It was a total charade and has been exposed as a charade, I have never heard a more humiliating speech by a major leader. He [Mr Bush] was trying to present himself as a leader while showing no sign of leadership. It was a total failure."

----------ing George ----ing W ----ing Bush, the complete ----. The ----------ing cheek of the ----er is ----ing unbelievable.

According to him, "our understanding of the science (of climate change) has moved on", and "clean technologies like nuclear power and clean coal would protect the economy as well as the environment." ----------er.

OUR understanding? You ----ing ----bag. Patronising ----ing ----. Clean technologies like nuclear and clean coal? You ----ing ----less ----face ----stick. ---- you! Coming into the ----ing debate like some ----------ing saviour, when actually you´re just a big ---- who´s full of horse ----. Where are the ----ing renewables, and how dare he ----ing call on the world to cut ----ing emissions and then refuse to make ----------ing commitments him------self?!

He, like some big -w--, thinks we can save the world while continuing America´s ----ing high energy consumption lifestyle. We ----ing can´t, ----. You want your big ----ing cars and your ----------ing flights all over the ----ing ----------er? Then forget about ----ing climate change, ´cause with that ----------ing attitude you ain´t gonna do ---t about it.

Of COURSE lifestyles in the west are going to have to ----ing change, and we can only ----ing do it if every ----------er on the ----ing planet agrees. "Working with the United ----ing Nations towards a long-term ----------ing goal on greenhouse gases" is ----ing pathetic. Especially when everyone else already wants binding ----ing agreements and America´s been rejecting the idea.

George ----nut Bush can take his global ----------ing summits and stick them up his ----ing ---.

Friday, 28 September 2007

ready, aim, fire

Fox News idiot Bill O'Reilly, whose non-stop vicious conservative tirades are apparently quite popular in the US, is in trouble for saying something racist... he was apparently surprised that a "black" restaurant was normal and civilised.

Well, one should expect such comments from a pig ignorant, stultifyingly ill-informed and rabid git like him.

But I was watching him on Fox news - there's an example below - and it made me think that perhaps people are wrong to criticise Hugo Chavez and Vladimir Putin for closing down TV channels. As I speak neither Russian nor Venezuelan (I know!!), I can't say what the shut-down channels were like, but if they were anything like Fox News, then they SHOULD have been closed down.

People might think that's anti-free speech, but it's not.

I think it's good that absolute shit-for-brains have the opportunity to express their moronic views in public, but there should not be channels devoted to this. A TV channel should be responsible and unbiased. Allow a range of views to be heard, so "the people" can decide what's right or wrong. TV is powerful, and especially with news, it can shape their world view, so it must be handled properly, and fairly.

Fox News spends 24 hours a day promoting a conservative agenda. That is biased and irresponsible.

So I would have it taken off the air.

And the management taken out and shot.

Seriously!

Here's Billy O'bumface in action, anyway, chatting with Richard Dawkins.



oh, and in case you haven't seen the Phil Collins Gorilla, watch it here.

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

uhmmmm.

..Anglicans in America have been really really grown up and decided to "halt gay ordinations". It's been a bit of a week for gay people I guess, what with being told they don't exist in Iran too.
What can we learn from this? Well, the (democratically elected) Iranian president is not hugely intelligent, mirroring his arch-enemy Dubya Bush, and religion is still morally out-of-date (not to mention intellectually backward).
George Bush still seems to think Ahmadinejad is a dictator, which is quite an impressive stance. Especially for someone elected twice.. by only winning once.


I wonder what the American population thinks.
"He's a dictator. He's Saddam's brother."
Who? Bush or Ahmadinejad? Perhaps those two are related, they both have interestingly dangerous and crazy ideas. Bush believes stem cell research kills babies (more or less); Ahmadinejad believes the holocaust (possibly) didn't happen. I think both ideas are idiotic.
They should be encouraged to speak their "minds" as much as possible, as it exposes their wackiness, and is pretty funny too.

Saturday, 22 September 2007

underminer

tech-y thing.
I installed a plug in to the Firefox browser called adblock plus.
It blocks adverts, unsurprisingly. But it does it well, and it makes websites so much more peaceful!
Of course, it's nice for me to not see ads, but it also undermines the concept of free internet services, according to some people.
....At least it might undermine the internet economy if use of it became widespread.
So, I am apparently eating my cake and having it too, and might therefore be evil.

Does my face look bothered?

more easy anti-american jokes

I found this somewhere or other...






and the Tory-Atlas is here. See if you can find Portugal.

Friday, 21 September 2007

God Bless Americans


Is the world flat?

Is this,

a: funny,
b: upsetting, or
c: completely terrifying?

Thursday, 20 September 2007

more bits and pieces



mmmm, wow.

I've read two fantastic articles this week, one about offending people by Charlie Brooker, and one from the AV Club entitled 13 Signs that MTV hates you. I thoroughly agree with both.

More excitingly, and musically, Prefuse 73 is back very soon with a new album.
Here's and example of why you should be enthusing about this too...

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Get yer own stories.

Now, the producer of the Harry Potter films is going to make a Paddington Bear film.
Bastard.


Big movie producers are fast becoming as popular with me as advertisers and marketers. Why is it necessary to make a Paddington Bear film?

Well, money, probably.. the producer can rely on the army of manipulatable kids in the world, and stupid "kidults" who'll go and see it for nostalgic purposes. Urgh.

Films of books are never as good as the book in question. Never. Sometimes they're OK, but never ever as good. Books do things films can't - especially in terms of detail and length, and obviously cinema can do things books can't, in the visual-auditory sense.

I want to see original cinema, a story I don't know. I don't want someone else's imagined version of a book I like impinging on mine. I have never seen the film of Catch 22 for that reason. I don't want to ruin it.

It's a measure of how unadventurous people can be, that they read Harry Potter, then go off excitedly to see the films too.

Film makers! Stop being lazy! You are encouraging the public to be lazy! Challenge people: treat them like idiots and they act like idiots. Everyone is capable of more than this. Stop pandering to people; try to wake them up. Everyone will benefit.

Sunday, 16 September 2007

2007 International Punch Our Leaders Repeatedly In The Face Day

World peace? We can lick that too

After saving the environmet so successfully, heh heh heh, this summer, celebs, headed rather bizarrely by Ben and Jerry of vomit-inducing-cutesy-ice-cream fame, are back... this time to create World Peace.
I know I shouldn't be cynical... but please.
Prancing around on telly, telling people to stop the fighting? Come on. How many people in Sudan will be watching?
The Ben half said: 'Everybody wishes there was something they could do besides attend a concert, but that's the best we've got right now. The reality of the society is that the culture is celebrity driven. If there are celebrities involved then the media gets involved and when something's big in the media, politicians have to respond somehow. As citizens, we're doing the best we can. We wish we could do more.'

Politicians DON'T have to respond somehow, just make the right noises and wait for attention to go elsewhere.

Case study. We are burning the planet, spiraling ever faster into our doom... And the big "awareness celebrity concert" has been totally overshadowed by the probable murder of a cute little girl.
Lesson?
Trust the media to help your cause, and you are screwed.

Awareness alone is a bunch of shit, anyway; there has to be an action-oriented point to your awareness raising. So how about this?

The UK spends approx 33.5 billion pounds a year on "defense", and the US 439.3 billion dollars. How about we urge people, using celebrities, to hold our leaders down and punch them repeatedly in the face until they stop spending all this money on War. Cause that's what "defense" is - WAR - and between the US and UK, we could pacify pretty much everyone using that money for good.

So, the 2007 International Punch Our Leaders Repeatedly In The Face Day.

Friday, 14 September 2007

Paddington Bear, Sell-Out

Here's Paddington bear, from deepest, darkest Peru, and my childhood in books and on TV:

Nothing particularly offensive there. It's from early enough in my life that I only have good feelings about it - I knew Paddington long before I knew anything about cynicism (for example).
Paddington Bear.

Aaah.

Happy.

But wait a minute! I should know by now to always be vigilant, and prepared, in the face of a group of BASTARDS who would take any piece of childhood nostalgia and ruin it by using it to sell me stuff.
Anyone around my age or above will remember Paddington Bear, some of us are BASTARDS and work in advertising, and are obviously overjoyed at taking the opportunity of raping our Paddington memories by bringing him back to sell Marmite*.
You can see it here.

Like Hollywood, where it's only a matter of time before your favourite movie is remade (or worse, re-imagined by that goth-git Tim Burton), the advertising world (which is below Hell) has no ideas of it's own, and profits by co-opting any part of popular culture it sees fit. Actually, they occasionally do have their own ideas, but only ones like the Lynx/Axe adverts, which are perhaps even more pernicious.

As 'The Sun' would say: Ban This Sick Filth!

Or, as Bill Hicks would say, to people "in advertising: Kill yourself."


*condensed evil, in a jar, to be spread on toast by the children of Satan.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

the shitlist

Aston Martin tops cool brands list.
Buehehehe.
What in god's name does a marketing group know about cool?
Answers on a postcard to "absolutely nothing, flat blah blah, Spain".
A more accurate name for this list, which you can see in more detail here, would be "popular with morons list."
It's just a list of famous brands, there's nothing cool about it or the brands!

Aston Martin? Expensive cars for rich old men - NOT FUCKING COOL!

And what on earth is cool about Amazon? It may be cheap, and perhaps useful... but cool? Piss off.

We have a list of well known expensive luxury brands - which ARE NEVER COOL - and the rest are dull. Surround yourself with these 20 brands, walk down the street, and you'll look like a big prick.

Marketing people of the world! Please listen!

COOL IS NOT YOUR TERRITORY.
YOU ARE THE OPPOSITE OF COOL.
(and)YOU ARE PARASITES.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

total devastation

... I have been mucking about with my design, and trying not to break stuff while "learning" how to use photoshop. Paint was so much more user friendly!
As I've been told the old black page was "painful to look at", I am hoping this one is easier on the eye. And much more 70s looking too.
... new battles video!!

Monday, 10 September 2007

a reasoned response to religion is torture.

...is one of the conclusions that Sam Harris appears to make in his book "The End of Faith", which I, mercifully, have finished.

I will boil this "remarkable" book down to it's basics:

1: 9/11.
2: Religion is, like, not rational, and religious books say bad stuff.
..well, not surprising, but ok...
3. 9/11.
4: Islam is a religion - but the worst kind - and we have to wage war against it.
..er, hang on a moment...
5: Collateral damage and torture are ethical responses to Islamic fundamentalist terrorism (including the war in Iraq).
..oh no, this book is ACTUALLY not liberal, but right-wing-mentalism masquerading as rationalism! eek!..
6: 9/11.
4: The world would be better if everyone got into eastern-quasi religious "spiritualism" and meditated, lost their sense of self and became one with the universe.

...I'm not kidding; that actually happens in this book.
So, go forth, meditate, torture some Muslims, and DO NOT criticise America: it's just trying to to it's best in a big bad world!! Boohoohoohoo. 9/11 9/11 9/11.

Such a shame, as I think religion is not a good place for people to put their brains and beliefs... but that doesn't lead me to feel the need to wage war against a supposed coherent "Islamic world" which exists solely to destroy us.
I must point out also, that this book doesn't hang together well, and it's often unclear exactly what he's trying to say.

Bah, still, think of a good title to stick on your poorly thought out ideas, and it'll sell.

I bought it.

DOH!

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

no it doesn't

Two things: Yoga, and animal sacrifice.

My issues with these stories? Firstly, as if it has to be said, killing goats does not in any way fix aircraft. No matter how much you believe it does, it doesn't.

Secondly, while I am happily ignorant of the joys of Yoga, I am quite sure that Shiva the maverick, dreadlocked god of destruction and regeneration NEVER manipulated his body into 8,400,000 postures, to reveal the basic animal instincts and desires that motivate us.
8 positions, or 4 positions... or even 84 positions... but 8,400,000? Fuck off! He never bloody did! Lying bastard!

(He didn't have four goddamn arms, either)

Still, I'm sure the rest of Hinduism is COMPLETELY sensible, just like all the other ones...

(God made Eve from Adam's rib? No, he didn't!
Mohammed heard the direct word of God? Erm, I think not!)

whining

As I don't usually have the pleasure of living in Her Majesty's European off-shoot, to be quite honest I'd missed out on Amy Winehouse.
Now I've had that pleasure, I have to say, I'm not bothered. But the press!!
Tabloid and serious papers alike are so far up her bottom, it's sickening.

Here's what a BBC journalist Ian Youngs said about Mercury Music Award loser Whinehouse's performance last night: "it was a stunning performance. Sensational. Spine-tingling. The stuff legends really are made of."

Well if that's what Ian Youngs thinks, then I predict he's the kind of guy that buys 3 albums a year, mostly by Sting and Maria Carey. It was a performance, yes, but spine-tingling? No. Only if you are a media twat wrapped up in "Amy's story", and you are gushing because...
...she's overcome her drug haze to perform. She's in masses of drug pain, but she's performing for us. We are special, and, in witnessing this performance, we too are part of "Amy's pain".
Jesus.
It's the music that matters, surely? And Amy's music seems to be beloved of the middle of the road crowd - hey, it's not suprising: she makes retro, smokey ballads and the like that will sit nice and quietly in the background at dinner parties. Usually such music is not made by people with massive drug problems, and it's pathetic how much fun (let's not be disingenuous) the press and public are having with her downward spiral. She's being a drug addled tragedy so we don't have to.

Kanye update: Chris Martin of Coldplay is on his new album. Do you need to know more? Kanye: May be damaging to your credibility.

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

again

..some time ago I got luke vibert's "kerrier district" cds, and was very pleased with both.
now I have his "chicago, detroit, redruth" album. excellent, all in all, makes me forget all the rubbish I hear by accident.

phonica

this is fascinating, 'Islamophonic', a show discussing Islamic issues. Interesting conversations about rascism and homosexuality in Islam.

Saturday, 1 September 2007

why hip hop sucks (very rude remix)

Kanye West and 50 Cent plan album showdown as rap record sales decline.
Well, if sales drop further, that'll be a good thing, 'cause hiphop sucks now. That it's come to a 50cent (shit-hop) or Kanye West (pisspop) showdown is sign of how far things have fallen. There's no point in discussing 50bent's artistic merits, as noone with ears would claim he has any, but Kanye... so many people seem to think he's good.

Well, can we stop that, please? He's not. Ok? His original production "thing", sped up soul samples, was nothing new, and on top of that sounded wack. His big hits have not been sample based, but full on rip off based, his current travesty of a single being a good example. Daft Punk should be ashamed of themselves for letting him use that. It's awful, with not only cliched lyrics, but badly written cliched lyrics that barely scan. And he looks like a nob in those glasses, too.

Fucking "stronger" by Kanye W. is the number one video at the moment... my fucking christ that's a pile of shit song. Some of my favourite moments from this "intellectual" rapper...

"you could be my black kate moss tonight"
what? your crack-buddy?

"well i'd do anything for a blonde-dike"
I wonder if he said that just because it rhymed with klondike.. anyway..

So, to sum up, Kanye wants a black-blonde-lesbian-crack addict??
Jesus, Kanye, calm down! What's wrong with a nice girl?

"man i've been waitin all night now
that's how long i've been on ya"
All night?? Ooh, such a long time. Honestly, this song, it doesn't work on any level at all. It's actually worse than Nelly.

Fuck him! Wanker! Fuck his fake-trying-to-be-credible-but-actually-weak-ass-piss-artist attempt at hip-hop. He's a cardy wearing, shit sampling cunt!

People say "yeah, but he's such a good/clever mc":
No he's not; he's a cunt!

He's not the opposite of shit like 50cent, he's the same side of a very shitty coin, that's buried in some shit. If you don't like 50 cent, don't be such a fucking prick and listen to Kanye West! It's ALL SHIT.
Did I mention he's a cunt? I forget.

Of course, there is good hip hop out there, but you're not going to see it on MTV or hear it on the radio. The money angle of the genre has got so ridiculous, it's no longer hip hop. Where as once working with an r&b singer was pretty much a sell out, today it's the norm, and many r&b singers actually seem to think they are hiphop. People like Timbaland? What the fuck is Nelly Furtado? That fat fuck is a hip hop as the tramp that sings Oasis songs on Canterbury high-street for pennies.

There is no credibility, no shame, and no skill left in mainstream hip hop. It should be left to die.