Thursday, 31 January 2008

hero

I out myself as "old labour", which is a synonym of "nice person", or as Mr Benn says "Jesus".



Nothing he says is wrong. I will argue, happily, and I warn you, successfully, with anyone who says otherwise.

number two

"One of al-Qaida's top leaders in Afghanistan has been killed, western intelligence officials said today."

Well, whoopy-shit.

It really is super we celebrate killing suspected terrorists; and obviously it's even more super we think it's wonderful to kill people at all!

Well done us! Yay the Alliance! We are the Axis of Fucknuts.

Wankers. To what degree has the "threat of terror" been elimited today? To fuck all degree, that's what. Grammatorical error? To rite.

You know, if one carpet bombed everywhere that wasn't "here", most of the tursts would be killed, so we wouldn't have a problem. But that would be rick-dickulous, or it would be if that wasn't pretty much the plan.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Liquidation Totale

I've just read an article called "It's time to herald the Arabic science that prefigured Darwin and Newton", by Jim Al-Khalili. I know that science flourished in Arabic civilisation, while Europe was in it's "dark ages", and I might agree this could be better taught in schools.
However, the sub-headline reads, "in this era of intolerance and cultural tension, the west needs to appreciate the fertile scholarship that flowered with Islam."

And to this I would say, "why"?

I believe that some ill-feeling towards "the West" is more than justified, and I think things like "solving terrorism" are impossible without accepting that. However, while the actions of "the West" may provoke (sadly misguided) angry young men to blow people up, it is the Fundamental Islamists who really need to appreciate Arabic scholarly past, not "the West".
Anyway, "the West" is too busy shopping and watching TV serials to be bothered.

But that's not my point. It is not helpful to talk about "the West" as distinct from Islam/Arab. Whatever those IDIOTIC religions we are subject to like to think, the history of the lands around the Mediterranean sea is all one. It does not help people to encourage them to make a distinction, as if one might have been possible without the other. There is no "one" or "the other" - they are the same thing.

So, yeah, when we've finished shopping and enjoying the return of "Gladiators" to our screens, maybe we should appreciate all of our Important Historical Culture.

But not too much, ok? I can't be doing with people getting all "proud of their heritage". Are you proud of your heritage? You're a dangerous lunatic who needs to be locked up, frankly, if you do, you mentalist. Be proud of what you've done, and by all means be interested in your heritage, but not proud of it - you didn't have anything to do with it, dumbass! It wasn't you! Get a brain! Remember, whatever your heritage is, you are a person, like all other people, so essentially you are similar to everyone on the planet, "Arab", "Asian", or, though it galls me to admit it, "Victoria Beckham".

Bit of a ramble... kind of lost my way somewhere... here's a video!

Monday, 28 January 2008

His most awesome work

"The world of germs and microbes has received much attention in recent years. But where do microbes fit into the creation account? Were they created along with the rest of the plants and animals in the first week of creation, or were they created later, after the Fall? These are some questions that creation microbiologists have been asking in recent years."

I bet microbiologists have not been ask... oh, creation microbiologists. I see.

Honestly, this article, "Microbes and the Days of Creation", might be one of the greatest literary achievements of human-kind. At the very least it's very very funny. Ok, it's probably better than a Jeffrey Archer novel. Alright! I admit it; I've never read a Jeffrey Archer!
But, I beg you to take the time to read this (not Archer); it really takes you inside the mind of a creationist.
A creationist pretending to be a scientist, that is.

Here's a "scientific" table I took from the "paper":



Well, that's cleared that up, then.

Homework: Were Viruses created during "Creation Week", or after "the Fall"?

I can't really believe the authors honestly think they are "being scientific" here, but they are trying to give themselves credibility by (very poorly) attempting to look scientific...

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Black and White

I am critical of the form of capitalism we have today, but I hope I don't come across as mental.

As much as the prophets of the free-market are blind to it's faults, some of it's critics are... here's an example, a comment I'm stealing from this article.

"Capitalism as a system is INHERENTLY "boom and bust" - we are now apparently coming to the head of the most almightly bust ever seen, and Monday was only a bump on the way to the top of a very tall cliff.

The Enron crash was managed by elitists to the benefit of themselves and the detriment of all others. So economic crashes can be engineered. Why now, at this point in history? The American empire is threatened. Population is out of control. Energy scarcity will be the defining characteristic of the 21st century. Globalisation is being ramped up as the internet demonstrates its ability to save humanity (and must be regulated by the same governments that are bringing us police state tyranny).

This depression will mask energy scarcity and allow fascist governments to increase control and surveillance of the general population as desperation breaks out and economies fold."

...only one man can stop it. This Summer, Arnold Schwarzenegger IS The Last Action Hero.

Ahem.

Picture a man banging his head against a wall in exasperation; it's what I'm doing now. Typing while banging my head against the wall; I'm a touch type talent.

People are free to their opinions, I guess, but it's a little unfortunate because opinions like this are crazy. Life is not the god-damn X-files, and there is no big conspiracy against "the people".

I wish there was, but there's no evidence for it - and if it did exist, well, like in the movies we could track "the (wo)man" down and have our Hollywood happy ending.
Oh, if history really was written by Dan Brown.

But it's not a conspiracy. It's a big complicated mess - which is worse as there's no simple solution, no easy "revolution" we can undertake to solve anything.

Why I pick on the far-left conspiracy nuts is because their existence allows the right to label any "anti capitalist" as a biased mentalist before there's been any discussion.

Being a reactionary crazy person, like the dude above, is easy, but won't help solve anything. I doubt even Arnie can help.

What's necessary is reasoned, calm and honest discussion and deliberation...

But this is The Internet Age! Web two-point-oh! So let's just shout and swear and insult each other ineffectually instead. (ok, I'm a bit guilty of this myself.)

Life isn't as easy as picking up a gun, Che, you beardy twat.

discochef

I've decided to put "blogger" to a more useful.. er.. use, and keep a record of my cooking on it: I cook a lot, and usually make things up, and I can't rely on my memory to remember what I do. Expect easy, quick and vegetarian things (I'm vegetarian in the Pulp Fiction sense). The link is in my "links", so you can check that I'm eating well, or not :)

I watched "Sunshine", last years Danny Boyle film. Hmmm, it does look nice, in a 2001 way, but it's not as profound as it wants to be, and gets a bit (understatement) ridiculous. However, there's some good (over) acting, and at one point you get,
"....he's trying to destroy the mission; he's INSANE!",
which is the hallmark of a non-wasted hour and a half by my reckoning, whatever happens.

Gruaniad's Steve Bell on Market falls...

Monday, 21 January 2008

Bunch of girls 2*



It's about time the free market capitalist economists shut-the-fuck-up. How is this any way to run the world's economy?
It's madness; stockbrokers, who have the nerves of moorhens, have too much cumulative effect. They should be stopped; or given Valium.
While it may be a good system in competitive terms (though I'm not convinced), it is rubbish when the economy snags:
Markets around the world cry "fuuuuuuuuuck we're all gonna diiiieeeeee!! panic!!!", and a slump or recession is exacerbated.

Well done: how mature and economically sensible of you all. I was going to say "so the next time you hear Milton Friedman waxing about the wonders of the free market...", but he's dead, so it's unlikely you will. He would have said a load of rubbish, anyway.
Apart from the the super rich, it's hard to see who's benefited under free market capitalism more than they might have under a more balanced form of capitalism; and no one benefits from times like these when markets panic like a bunch of girls.

*Which is pretty offensive towards girls, who don't tend to panic in that kind of way really. So, "when markets panic like the English cricket team", will do for now.

Do you want to see how a fat man dances when he thinks he is actually inside Beyonce's "crazy in love" video? Be warned; it might give you nightmares.

Saturday, 19 January 2008

gribbly's day out



Lupe Fiasco, much praised by the press, has his second album out. It's a concept album, of sorts; but facts like that don't matter, as this is a hiphop record, and hiphop has only one real point, like Redman said,

"So turn the volume up a notch; and watch the ba-BUMP, ba-BUMP; make ya speakers pop.."

So, like Kanye before him, Lupe Fiasco is, well, a fiasco. Where's the "ba-bump"? This is lap-top friendly, bassless crap. It's not hiphop, it's hip-pop crap.
So he's an intelligent lyricist? That never stopped Nas (circa Illmatic) having proper beats, nor a ton of other intelligent emcees (insert list y'all don't deserve here).

Yadayadayada. It's not the mid-nineties anymore, is it, I suppose?

A while back I was talking about games also not being what they used to, and it seems I should have played "Geometry Wars" before complaining: It's great.
It doesn't stop until you die. Proper.
I can't put into words how nice it is to play, really, it's done just about perfectly for a shoot-em-up, and the physics of the game are just fantastic. It makes me smile.
Looks cool too, in a retro-futuristic way.

Some people from Leicestershire are very sensible

Saturday, 12 January 2008

folking music

Mr Jamie Lidell is back in 2008, apparently, and here's a live video of a new song.

Funk.



...so eventually noone will have an excuses for listening to Panda Bear or whatever.

Well, if you're in need of some coffee-table background noise, this isn't a link to Goldfrapp's upcoming album. You can't download it here, ok?

On a political note, after nearly 11 years in Government, it seems the Labour Party, like the Conservagits before them, have become riddled with "shitness". Whether it's purposeful, or accidental, I don't know; but it's painful to watch them killing themselves. More so because at one point they'll lose all public faith, which in Britain is bad news, as it means we'll get "the other lot" in again. Urgh.

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Bunch of Girls

There isn't any news, is there?
(I've never even heard of "America"; is it near Skegness?)

I have been idly wasting my life on "vbs.tv", which I highly recommend. That's where the "true Norwegian Death Metal" film came from. Remember? :)

Probably even better than that, and arguably more homo-erotic too (depending how you feel about Death Metal, I suppose) is part one of this film (I hope you can use your initiative to find the other parts):




And who would've thought that insulting a car advert would invite anyone's vitriol, eh? That's opened up a whole new world of offense I can possibly, pointlessly, but "amusing-myself-ingly" exploit.
Hooray for people on the internet! May you forever be outraged!

I hope to return to being outraged myself, soon.

nite-nite.

Saturday, 5 January 2008

stuffed onions



... you spend all that time and money designing something pretty cool, you think, and you pour all of your company's reputation and history into it... then wait for your marketing people to come along and urinate all over your good work.
A new thing we can't even buy yet cannot be considered an "everyday masterpiece". That comes with time and popularity.
Of course what grates me is the advert is trying to tell me what to think. And in such a blatant and stupid way, too.
When adults tell kids not to smoke, and that it's not cool, it becomes cool to smoke for kids. When adverts tell us something is cool, or a classic, again, I expect we'll see the opposite effect.
I know marketing and advertising people think they're hip, daddy-o and down with da kids, but they are fooling themselves. The more adverts try, the more desperate they look. It is quite funny to see how desperate marketing can become, but in another sense, it's a shame they are allowed to ruin what might have been a cool car, and perhaps one day an "everyday masterpiece".
Sorry, Fiat marketing department, you fucked it up.
Next time try it this way

Thanks to those kind people at tracknumbereight, we have another David Lynch classic:

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

music for the naughty generation

What is the defining sound of the "noughties"?

Alex Petridish thinks it's Coldplay and blah blah blah. But he also thinks that "manufactured pop artists such as Britney Spears or Girls Aloud have ended up making more sonically interesting records than their more earnest rock counterparts," so I'm not really sure he knows what he's talking about. For some reason, if you make a shiny pop-song, then fill the production with bells and whistles (literally), you are making "interesting" music.
Well, Girls Aloud would certainly sound "interesting" to someone who's musical diet consists mainly of Coldplay...

There's very little exciting in being "the defining sound" of a decade. If we're saying it's Coldplay, what does that mean?
Will history remember this decade as one of painfully dull musical expression?
(if history hears Panda Bear, we're fucked)

Who gives a shit, anyway? Defining or non-defining, I'm not listening to either the drab earnestness of Coldplay, or the over-decorated psycho-child pop of Girls Aloud, because I have more imagination. So should our music journalists.



apparently this is my 200th post. I need a (different) hobby.