Sunday, 30 March 2008

Evangelicals are Stupid/a ramble

Well, they are, ok? I've been watching the documentary "Jesus Camp", about a kids summer camp that's designed to turn innocent little Amrrc'ns into soldiers. Soldiers for Jesus, yeah. It is a bit scary really, so it's lucky it's set in the States, which is a long way away; I mean I don't feel directly threatened by it (or empathise with it). Long distance is cool like that.
Anyway, them being stupid 'n all: I used to assume Evangelical Christians were just another branch of Christianity, but seeing them in action; they're just not! It's really not Christianity.. now I assume any readers will know I'm not into God - I don't like the term Atheist although that's essentially where I stand.
Anyway, why is it not Christianity, this Evangelical brand? It's because for them, Christianity is two things - God speaking to you, and non-believers being the enemy.
They prattle on like lunatics about Jesus Is My Lord, and Let Jesus Into all kinds of places, but they don't appear to have soaked up his most basic messages.
Because I have to admit Jesus had some good ideas - we just part ways when it comes to God. And if I had to choose, I think Kant was a better thinker, though not as good a communicator (seriously, try reading Kant; it's insanely difficult).
Most importantly for Jesus was stuff like "Love thy neighbour"; Evangelicals are rubbish at that, in fact they seem to have no time for empathy or understanding at all. So, that's what I mean about not being Christian.

worshipping false idols etc

And brainwashing kids, jesus, it's unbelievable. They're put in an environment with an overload of visual and aural stimulus, in big groups with everyone shouting, and occasionally speaking in tongues... It is not surprising you see many children in this film totally overcome with emotion. It's too much for them to handle. It's not fair. It is also remarkably similar to modern "non-violent" torture methods, designed to disorient captives and leave them more open to suggestion. Very Christian Stuff.

It's this film where you also get to meet a pre-scandal Ted "male prostitute/drug using" Haggard explaining how Church is popular with kids because unlike public school, which tries to tell them they're animals, Church tells kids they're God's creation and very special. Awww.

I'm just finishing Naomi Klein's "The Shock Doctrine", which I would urge anyone to read; it's an important book.

When I get tense and angry, to relax I either like to watch fat people falling over, or failing that, Skateboarding, so here's some of that:

Tuesday, 25 March 2008


This Tibet-China-boycott Olympics thing.. hufff. So Shorty Sarkozy has finally done something good by saying he won't rule out a boycott of the opening ceremony, because of Tibet. (ok, that's actually not ruling out doing something good, but hey)
Now, I thought the Olympics were supposed to be about generally good ideals, combined with "who is the best at a pointless activity?". So I was heartened to hear that Olympics chief Jacques Rogge was heartened "that no major government had backed a boycott".

I mean, what is he? Some sort of c±nt? Is there perhaps too much sponsorship and such tied into the Moneylympics these days, that any political complaints might cost too much? Come on, it's not as if China is oppressing anyone, is it? What possible reason would anyone have to boycott an event organised by a non-democratic country that stifles freedoms?

Of course, Coke and McDonald's, and other suitably sporty commercial giants don't want to be associated with anything like that, so it's a shame these fucking Buddhists have to start pointing out unfortunate truths about China. Shhhhhh! Shut up, watch telly, enjoy the sport, drink Coke and fuck all the oppressed people in China! Ignore that nagging at your conscience! Couple of Big Macs and 15 hours of continuous live TV coverage, and your conscience will have been beaten into submission anyway(along with most of your intelligence) - ignore it!

I'm sure someone out there will be able to explain how "engaging" with China and letting the Olympic propaganda run out without a hitch will somehow help China to change. I remember in the 80s that was exactly what we did with South Africa - we engaged with it, traded with it, convened sporting event... Oh wait a minute, we did the opposite! Doh! That's right, trading with someone is no way to encourage change! oops!
You know, I think our business leaders might be lying to us about their involvement with China, unless they are honest enough to admit they don't give a shit about anything but the bottom line (few are, except that bastard Ryan Air owner).

Blah blah blah.

Monday, 24 March 2008

niñofixo is a tonto

Seems the kids have entirely got down with the horrid 80s cheese they are too young to hate with a passion. So now things like "voyage voyage" are kind of hip. Last night I saw for the first time a group of (more or less) grown up people who look like a completely different generation.
Or possibly what I actually saw was one room full of wannabees and fashion victims, with no taste at all.

In fact, looking back through my slightly foggy memory, the second theory is more likely - as after half an hour of 80s tack, for no apparent reason, the pre-pubescent dj-boy-thing (niñofixo, I think), played Chumbawumba. That song about alcohol. The fashion victims were going wild, apparently oblivious to the dirge they were being served. I think you could´ve played anything to these monkeys, and as long as, as the dj, your haircut was angular enough, they would have taken it to be cool.

So, I write them off. I was only in this place waiting for a concert by Australian group "The Midnight Juggernauts", who were, I can report, very amateurish. So, totally worth waiting for till 3.30am when they´d finally got their straggly selves out of above bar and onto the stage. Perhaps they got really good during their last 30 mins, but it wasn´t looking hopeful, so I don´t know, as I spent that time speeding bedwards in a taxi.

Saturday, 22 March 2008

evasive thinking

Over in Drowned in Sound (link right) they have an "exclusive preview" of Portishead's third album "third". Now they flew all the way to Berlin, and were given the album to listen to on special "personlised i-pod's", during the flight.
I expect the i-pod was programmed to explode after one listen, too, to keep everything under wraps prior to the album's release next month.

So who put it on the internet a couple of weeks ago? Why didn't "drowned in sound" save the environment by sitting their bottoms in their offices and downloading it, instead of hauling themselves on a secret mission to get a free trip to Berlin.
Now, I downloaded it, and I will buy it when it's released (as I like it). But I'm not principled enough to wait two months to hear something when I can hear it today. I'm also not snobby enough to pretend I have to fly to Berlin to hear something, when I don't.
If Portishead wanted to keep their album secret, they shouldn't have given it to obviously disloyal people who put it on the web. And since that happened, they needn't have continued with the charade that journalists (who love free stuff) be brought to "preview" the record like some freeloading James Bonds.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

ricky martin

Coldplay have released new album details.
I can exclusively reveal to you that they are:

a:it will kill what remains of any soul you may have, and

b:you will all buy it like sheep *evil laugh*.

Some people will say "nay, Brian Eno's producing it, it will be a masterwork."

Brian Eno did some amazing things - around 1981. None of the wonder of Talking Heads will be rubbing off here, believe me. In fact, "Brian Eno producing" smacks to me of a band wildly scraping around for the credibility they will never get, but I'm horrible.

dirty black summer

from the gruaniad: Clinton a long way from the White House at key foreign policy moments.

erm. She was the FUCKING FIRST LADY, NOT THE PRESIDENT. Has the world turned into Paris Hilton's brain? fuck me.

(incilaydentaly, the title of this post refers to a unfashionable song I'm listening to at the moment, not anything else.)

(and I'll spell incidentally any goddamn way I please, ok?)

Wednesday, 19 March 2008


Apparently Barack Obama gave a speech addressing race today in America, and apparently it was very important and timely. Apparently I watched most of it, but I can't maintain concentration on him for more than half a sentence for some reason, I just drift off.
The same thing happens if I hear Kennedy speeches, or Martin Luther King. It's as if the tempo of worthy speech is a sedative.
Anyway, I ....... didn't come here today (applause)... to c...... riticise... worthy speech makers.

......Whatever their creed.




I came here today

(reconvene in 6 months) point out how Mr Obama,

... laudable as it was,

.......gave an honest and unflinching dissection...

of race in America today.

It would be a lovely change if a politician was successful due to his/her honesty and unflinching dissections. I have never experienced that in my life, and I'm not convinced that "the people" like hearing the truth from politicians. I hope I'm wrong, and that in the future, worthy speeches can have more gusto and less pausing for effect.

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Shit Therapy

The US economy is suffering a "downturn", the government there has finally admitted.
But the wonders of US economic bullshit never ceases. It's purported to be the best, most logical, self-regulating scientific system humanity has ever known*, and yet we have US Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson saying he didn't believe investors saw the rescue of Bear Stearn as a bail-out.
So investors are idiots I take it? They must be.

I've been reading "Shock Therapy" by Naomi Klein, it's very good, and convincing; Free markets have nothing to do with free peoples, in essence. In fact in practice, free markets work best without free people. Repression and poverty seem to be the order of the day. Certainly not the best thing for all people, which is what one is supposed to believe, if one listens to the free market gurus.

This is Free Market economics: It's a fantastical, fascistic theory built on a massively stupid understanding of people and society. It has nothing to do with democracy, and everything to do with making capital easier to extract. Want to know why the divide between rich and poor has increased even while overall wealth has increased enourmously? Free Market policies; the "Washiton Consensus".

*as noted mental economist Milton Friedman would have said. Probably while proposing systems that would increase poverty, encourage torture and political repression across Latin America. An Evil, terrible, now thankfully dead, man. Were he not already dead, I've have him taken out and shot, but we'll have to make do instead with Jeffrey Sachs, if anyone knows where to find him. He was present at most of the economic daylight robbery events of the past 20 years, so search for the next one, there he'll be.

the blend

"This is our remix for Goldfrapp's song 'Happiness'. Unfortunately for us, it didn't get approved, but we still really like this song so we did some cooking to celebrate. Happiness is a severed hand!" say remixers Rex the Dog... well, it was all going fine till that keyboard solo after the chorus :S

nice video, mind you.

to the idiot commenting below (well, not the one who is me, obviously); no this is not a likeable blog, thankyou; now bugger off.

Man, Firefox is undermining my confidence. The ONE THING I have always been complurtely perfect with is spelling, and due to the American dictionary that works with Firefox automatically, I keep getting called up on my Britisher English. Like likeable. Screw you Firefox! LABOUR COLOUR WANKER. Put that in your spell checker and smoke it you gits. JODER. Even "gits" is not a word apparently. But, "Britisher" is! Bomb America for crimes against language.

Sunday, 16 March 2008


Anyone rightly unimpressed with the latest Hot Chip album, where the foursome squander most of their lo-fi charm and spend too much cash on production values, you should check out anything by ex-member "Grovesnor". In fact an upcoming single has been remixed by Hot Chip, you can stream it here, and it's quite nice in a Miami Vice kind of way.

However, not everyone wants to live in the 80s, in which case the new Ninja Cuts "you don't know" compilation should suffice. 50 highly varied tracks of music with its head firmly in the future, like Zero DBs fantastic remix of Bonobo, which I'm not mentioning at all just because I met the wife of one of them, 'cause that would be pathetic. Personal highlight is a track called "poison dart" by The Bug....

Del the Funky Homosapian has a new album out too, which is cool - a hiphop record not featuring the mobile-phone-friendly production of Kanye West for once. God I hate him. Anyway, "11th Hour" is the name of the album, and it's pretty back to basics; very refreshing.

I've heard the new Portishead album too, which is pleasantly oblique. I don't think it's quite oblique enough to put off the coffee-table set, but my ears are not easily offended (in one way) so I might be wrong....

Obviously my ears are very easily offended by music I don't like; most music. For example, I don't like pop music, and I don't like rock music when it sounds the same as a hundred other rock bands. The dreadful predictability of "the next big thing" turning out to be four boys rattling about with guitars again is mildly depressing, to put it lightly. What's the point of that? I don't like Trance, or jangly arched-eyebrow indie music (that's you, los crapesinos; you're not intelligent, you're boring). I'm not a big fan of singer song-writers, mostly because I have no empathy for whatever they're moaning on about - oh, you're sad about something, yeah? Boo-hoo. What sort of person tries to profit from their own misery? A git, I've been told.
I could also do without any band who wants to save the world, too. Politics and philosophy are best served by books, not language forced into rhyming couplets, with pompous noise in the background.

And breath out.

Oh, I read elsewhere you can get the new single by Daedelus, "Hrs, mins, secs" free, as a pre-album teaser. It's wild and crazy.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Advertising, religion: rubbish

A very nobby advert has been banned in the UK for causing "serious offense" to Christians. Apparently there were complaints: Twenty Three! (someone call Jim Carrey).
Well, there are at least 23 pointless excuses for adults in Britain then.
There should be offense laws in Britain. They should be:
"It is not illegal for someone to offend you, you're adults, get over yourselves."

If the hair advert was saying "I hope my lovely curls obliterate the scum that are Christians", then that would be incitement of some sort, and I would not agree with it. But using religious imagery isn't wrong. It may be crappy, especially in relation to hair products, but there's no law against being crappy.

The advert can be seen here. Prepare to be offended.

Last week it was the eighties, now we go back a little more to NYC disco, from "Hercules and Love Affair", which is like disco but with pretentiousness.
It's good, though.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

what it means

... to be British.

The BBC reports government proposals to get school students to swear an oath of allegiance to the Queen. Amusingly, that is part of their "citizenship" plan - rather than that subject-hood plan.
Anyway, what is this? Since when was that necessary? Britain isn't the US; it doesn't need overt patriotism to survive, and certainly not rubbish like swearing an oath of allegiance to the Queen.

Swearing at the Queen, perhaps..

All of this hand wringing about Britishness and Englishness is toss, frankly. It's middle England getting scared by change, and frothed up by the idiot Daily Mail, Express and Telegraph. I am convinced that most social problems (which most middle-englanders will never see) would disappear, if we worked on increasing real material equality. Ha! As if.

At the moment though, the debate seems to be framed by this kind of nonsense, and the laughable BBC "white" season, which is addressing the terrible problems white people have in Britain today. Did I say terrible problems white people have? Sorry, I must have become temporarily stupid. Like BBC2, I imagine.

It's achingly clear there's a big political problem in Britain: there is no progressive party. And don't say "the Lib Dems"; they have shown themselves to be a bunch of jobsworths just as much as Labour. Screw them.

Still, why should I care or anyone listen? I live in Spain, where we have a genuinely progressive, positive, forward looking leader, who's just won an election where the main issue was immigration. Immigration here makes UK immigration look like a joke, by the way, and Zapatero just won the election saying immigration was a good thing. Incredible. Faced with the usual right-wing scaremongering about immigration, he attacked back, instead of making awful concessions to dimwitted little-englanders and racists, like the Labour party seem to do in Britain.

Friday, 7 March 2008

zoot neon

this is quite good:

as is this:

It's an 80s style pop extravaganza!

edit 3. I've just downloaded what is apparently a Fabric-rejected mix by Justice, who I like a lot. I found it following links here, and it's worth visiting just to read the comments below it; an excellent example of crazy-internet-anger. It's like a music version of the daily mail website... the mix is pretty cool, though.

Thursday, 6 March 2008


That's Dj Ronny Wrong and the Wrongettes.

I am not really concentrating on writing for now; I'm painting instead... work in progress...

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

British National Idiots

If I thought "The Daily Mail" was bad, I'd obviously been ignorant of the increasingly bizarre, and apparent home to racists, "Daily Express". Read this paper, and you'll learn about how on every corner lurks a violent, Polish, pregnant teen-aged, drug crazed, immigrant, young, hoody wearing, mobile phone camera wielding, aids infected, black, Kurdish, pit bull (tnks Bill Hicks). It's incredible. Reading "reader comments" and it seems a large number of their readership are convinced Britain is in the hands of Communists, hell bent on eradicating everything the racist, homophobic, white indigenous English hold dear*. Damn Communists!
Here's an example.

*From what I gather reading The Express, the white middle classes they claim to represent must be racist and homophobic, as well as stupid. I have no actual experience of this; the English I actually know are very tolerant, open and friendly. They also make some of the finest cheeses in the world.