Wednesday, 30 April 2008

git



This man is a git. Now, eugenics is definitely unscientific, dangerous rubbish... however, with the "educated classes" it does seem to work. Take this face, for example:
When we examine the mouth, we see it is gelatinous and puffy, especially in the bottom lip area. This signifies pompousness, stubbornness and mental restriction. Without further testing, we can assume, rightly, that this man will be horrible. As it happens, my suspicions can be verified with evidence:
He is a journalist who gave up a source, whom he had misquoted, who under the following stress committed suicide.
He is undertaking a journalistic campaign or misinformation and slander against the left wing mayor of London, while describing himself as "a lefty". Working for a conservative newspaper and getting a conservative candidate elected is not "lefty", it's stupid.

He is stupid - look at his stupid face! Stupid stupid stupid.

...Someone else who's stupid, and talentless, is Annie "I've got a great idea! let's do the photo naked" Liebovitz. And people are stupid too, because they buy into the idea that "naked = art" unquestioningly. What's niggling me today is that there's some scandal about a 15 year old US star who was shot by Liebowitz. Now, surprisingly enough, at some point during the shoot, Annie "I've got a great idea! let's do the photo naked" Liebovitz evidently said, "I've got a great idea! let's do the photo naked", and said photo was printed in some shitty magazine that substitutes substance with celebrity.
Well, to the girl in question, her fans, her parents and the morally outraged everywhere - what did you expect? It's Annie "I've got a great idea! let's do the photo naked" Liebovitz; she only has one idea! Don't let her near children, for Christ's sake!

Monday, 28 April 2008

aesthetic pants

Go to the Stones Throw (it's a record label) site, and get the half hour "music from the forest" podcast by James Pants.



This is, exactly the musical world I want to live in; more or less the perfect aesthetic. And it's free, so you can listen too, and not understand where I'm coming from at all.
Still it could be worse, you could be listening to the new Madonna album. I'm prepared to go out on a limb, without hearing it, and predict assuredly that it's embarrassingly awful. I don't need to hear it to know it, like I don't need to be at a heavy metal concert to predict black will be worn.

I don't expect to be forcing any more Pants on the world until the album comes out. In May.

The "Karriem Riggins" live dj set on the above site is mas que un poco especial tambien.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

google ads give advice

I was looking at a site called Photoshop Disasters, which is self explanatory, and my eyes wandered across the google ad panel on the right....

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

I clearly need direction

Oh, dear. Now Billary Clinton's won in Transylvania, she thinks she can continue, and "go all the way."

How selfish is she? By the time she finally loses to Obama in the summer, John McCain's reputation will have increased just by the fact the Democratic nominees have been dragging each other's through the mud for a year. Why do I care? Because it's important for the world we don't have another Republican administration.

It's also important Billary doesn't win, as she thinks it's reasonable to "obliterate" other countries. Very depressing thought, that. I was wondering if, as she thinks it's ok to kill an entire nation due to the actions of its leader, whether she thinks leader and nation are indeed one and the same thing. How else could you feel justified in saying what she did? I suppose the idea of leader = nation is not exactly new, but it has uniquely been held by leaders who have entirely lost the plot (Mao, Stalin, late term Blair and Thatcher). So to elect someone who is already as deluded as that, I feel would be misguided. America! Listen! Don't be misguided!

..and yesterday was St George's day. What's the point of that again? I'm sorry you will have to explain to me why it's good to be "Praahhd of yer cantry", cause like God, I just don't feel nationalism. Certainly not English nationalism; what on earth could that mean? While I of course think Fish and Chips is better than any French cuisine, and I will get violently defensive about English cheese, that really is due to taste, and not because they're English (I hope)....yeeeeaaees, well, p'raps I'd be happier with all this brainless flag waving if a great deal of the enthusiasm for it didn't come from people who read the Daily Mail (ie in-or-out of the closet racists).

I've been tootling about the "blogosphere"... excuse me while I go and vomit after using that word... and it's increasingly apparent to me I am not doing the done thing of putting tons of ugly self promotion and advertising down my right column. Why aren't I doing this? Because I'm keeping it real, Gangstar style. OF course the whole idea of blogs is arrogance way beyond what's reasonable, but hey, that's no excuse to get too big-headed. Which I'm not - check out how big my header logo isn't :).

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

rarity

This link leads to a new song by "James Pants".
It's really good. I mean this in a genuine non-sarcastic way, too. Ever so often I hear a song that from the first note reaffirms my conviction that most music is indeed rubbish, and I'm not wrong to criticise the next big thing for being poo, because it really is; and this particular song serves to highlight exactly how rubbish everything else is.
So, James Pants! My new musical hero!

Monday, 21 April 2008

Award show in news headline scandal

Today, across Britain, another pointless award show has claimed top story and headline status over a broad spectrum of media.
Asked why this unimportant backslapping turgid waste of everyone's time was considered new by journalists and editors, one said, "because we're a bunch of useless, fawning freeloaders who like (...free)champagne, and we love to be allowed to hang about in the shadows of TV stars because we're essentially worthless human beings."

The essential worthlessness of show-biz journalists, celebrities and award shows was tonight being investigated by Scotland Yard, although they unfortunately seemed to be "really excited" about the prospect of meeting celebrities.
.....

In more normal business, here's an article about the "euston manifesto", by Alan Johnson, who is a sell out git who pretends to be left wing while actually being a warmongering Thatcherite. You wish to know why? The Euston idiots have all become so dim, that like American evangelicals, they can only see things in black and white, which leads them to scary conclusions. Conclusions, which, unsurprisingly, are inhumane, uncaring and unimaginative.
Fuck anyone who considers themselves as "left wing", yet believes in bombing innocent people for the crimes of their leaders, who have given up believing in redistribution, and accepted unswervingly the frankly scary "free market = democracy" mantra. Screw you all, you've all become corrupted by something, I can't imagine what. Perhaps with your London lifestyles your brains are cocaine and champagne rotted, or perhaps you were always fakers in the first place.
The Euston lot are correct that some anti-war protesters were very simple, and I also find lazy anti Americanism unfortunate - but most of it wasn't lazy. It is not lazy or misguided to see the Bush government's use of war and the IMF/World bank as seriously immoral. The "freedom and democracy" drive they undertook was a sham, a sham designed to move a great deal of public money into private hands.... hufff. I know it sounds radical, but that is what happened, and there's almost no evidence of concern for humanity or democracy or any kind of freedom except that of US/EU corporations to buy up foreign assets cheaply.
It's time people exploded the free-market myth for what it is. What it is not is anything to do with democracy or freedom - I am totally convinced of that. "Free markets" allow the financially powerful free reign to become richer, backed up by WTO courts. Democracies that wish to do their own thing actually have to LEAVE the WTO, as it doesn't allow them freedom of economic determination. If you don't privatise, allow home grown industries to be bought by foreign companies, apparently you're acting "against freedom". It's a nonsense.

All of the above people should be made to stand in the corner, or alternatively made to go to their rooms until they're genuinely sorry.
Or possibly taken outside and shot.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

sometimes I just don't know

... I was really looking forward to Jamie Lidell's new album, and now I've heard it.. eyeeeeee... It's a bit old school. His debut was especially cool, mixing crazy electronic tricks with soul vocals - but now the tricks have mostly gone, and while it's not bad, it's not exciting :( Sometimes it reminds me of Justin Timberlicker.

I also heard the new M83 record. I hated the last one, almost violently so, but this one is muuuuch better. However, it exists in a world that starts and finishes in 1986, so if you don't ever think "I want to listen to Tears For Fears", you are unlikely to want to listen to this either. Of course, the rather pleasing flip side of that, is if you are "hip", and you like this record, you are essentially admitting to liking Tears For Fears. Groovy.

Then I heard "Foals". Don't believe the hype - they are a more irritating version of Franz Ferdinand, who have very rudely stolen some of the noises Battles make. They're trying too hard to be cool, a fact that becomes painfully obvious when you see their haircuts and clothes. For the record, that's the first record I've deleted from my i-tunes library, for fear of someone seeing I had it. I couldn't cope with the shame - and if you look carefully through my library you'll find a Slayer song. That bad.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

billy idol

there's more god vs darwin noise aboot, relating to an intelligent design documentary hosted by the boring teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Anyone, anyone?
I'm gonna watch it, for a laugh, once it's finished downloading in an illegal stylee.
Anyway, there's a lot of blah blah blah back and forth, but the only question ID people seem to reasonably ask is "why are there no answers to "why did the big bang happen/why did life happen."
I think that's a reasonable thing to ask, and luckily for them, I know the answer!
Why? No reason. Why should there be a reason? It's only because the question "why?" has got us so far that we think there's always an answer to it, but there really isn't. Things just happen, and I'm sorry if that makes everything seem a little pointless, but it shouldn't do, one just has to accept that life is only important on a human scale - which is quite important enough. On a cosmic scale we are so tiny and short-lived we are barely worth a mention. I suppose I'm saying we have to get over ourselves on this one. And get on and be nice to each other too. (not including Bono)

In 20 (estimated) mins I get to see the documentary, anyway, and maybe I'll be converted, who knows? Update to follow :)

quality marketing

In the guardian I learn that a chip producer is using the slogan "east your greens!" to promote chips. This apparently is because they are low fat chips, therefore healthy, and a "green light" food (as opposed to bad food, which would be a red light). Now we all know that "eat your greens" refers to eating green vegrtables, not potatoes, so the company, McCain, will also know it is being very naughty, and it's marketing department should be put in the stocks.
Just in case you're not sure that they are evil, while searching for a picture of the "eat your greens" slogan, I was directed to netmums.com, where I found this:

That's a little small, so let me quote, "And here's a healthy option to serve up with your quality fast food: McCain Rustic oven chips: the "all green" chip."
When we use quotation marks like that, I must point out, we me something is similar to, but not exactly what we say. So; Madonna is an artist, vs, Madonna is an "artist". You know the difference. And between all green and "all green"? Are they taking the piss out of themselves?

Regardless, they know they're full of shit on this one; to claim chips are healthy is like saying war is fun.

Monday, 14 April 2008

another god rant

I just read this article in the Gruaniad, complaining about Richard Dawkins and his "secular army". Apparently, Dawkins should stop, because "God is behind some of our greatest art".
Well guess what? I don't give a fuck. Absolute monarchies were also behind some of "our greatest art", and I don't hear any fat-heads calling for their return. Mark Ravenhill; you are a plankton.
Get real. If humans took the time to see the world as it is, without fantastical imaginary Gods and so on, they would find something even more amazing, and even more awe-inspiring than the stories we used to make up.
The creation story, for example, is absolutely mind-numbingly dull compared to current scientific explanations of the birth of the universe. That is some mind-bending crazy stuff there, and it really puts things in perspective. Also, genetic mutation and natural selection is a much more beautiful "story" than the idiotic one in the Bible. So don't tell me science, or the real world, can't be inspirational; that only proves you are too lazy to read and understand some (fairly basic) science (it's more comfortable, I understand, to stay wrapped up in your childish stories).

So bugger off.... Where is this "secular army", anyway? I don't see secularists burning churches and killing non-secularists anwhere - that appears to be religiously inspired people doing that stuff. To say that being a secularist means you have to be ignorant of the bible, or "great Christian art" is so idiotic, I think Mr Ravenhill might have taken an stupid-pill. And just because Europe was a Christian culture, doesn't mean it has to continue to be. I seem to remember Christianity has taken many pre-Christian European traditions and holidays, so who's to say we shouldn't ignore the Bible and look to Pagans, or just say "things change"? We can accept and learn about and respect Christianity while superseding it, why not?
But what really pisses me off, is that if this neckless fat-face excuse for an artist had READ DAWKINS he would have noticed there is a great deal of respect and admiration given for Christian culture. Noone is saying we must burn the bible and all traces of Christian culture must be erased, not at all. I am saying, however, that belief in god is a bit thick, and it's only sentimentalism and a failure to accept we are not the centre of he universe (an ego thing). But once you get past that, the world is a much more wonderful place, albeit one blighted by pea-brained unevolved dimwits like Mark Ravenhill.

Here's one I missed earlier by Charlie Brooker, about the "Brain Gym", which is a nice idea wrapped in utter nonsense - I agree totally with what he says.

Sunday, 13 April 2008

“I want to do Movies, actually that’s why I’m moving to Hollywood, I also want to meet Tom Cruise.”

nothing interesting going on... so what better to while away the time than reading blogs on the internet? You might have noticed I put a link to "Bai Ling's crazy blog", on the left - it's pretty (unintentionally) funny. Through that I found something even betterrer, which is this.
Less "inspiring", is news that ageing rockers Radiohead have, in a sooo zeitgeist-y way, launched their own social networking site. Sounds like a barrel of laughs, that place: "Are you pretentious, depressed and boring,? Me too!"
...so far I am resisting any temptations of signing up, infiltrating and going undercover (or being abusive..).

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Temple of Lords

The Lords Economic Affairs Committee have released their report on the effects of immigration in the UK. I am tempted not to write at all, because I'm so angry I can barely keep my fingers on the keyboard, and I'm worried that the coffee I want to drink will raise my blood pressure to such a point that I actually explode.
I want to do a point by point dissection of why the authors are a complete bunch of mentally limited backwards little-Englander WANKERS who make me wish I was wrong about God altogether, so these snobby over privileged FUCKS actually spend the eternity of their hopefully quite soon deaths in hell, (I'm quite agitated), but I can't because the response to the report has been so depressing.

Did people respond to the last report in the UK, that said immigration was a good thing for the economy, by saying,
"Oh, my prejudices seem to have blinded me to the truth, and now I see the facts, I think foreigners are lovely"?
No, they said nothing, but NOW, with this Lord-upon-high report backing up his brainlessness, we have man on street (via internet) spouting such enlightened vomit as,
"They show unequivocally that the benefits of the current immigration policy to ordinary UK citizens are largely non-existent."
Oh sorry, that wasn't "man on street", that was David "pointless" Davis of the Conservative(read 'reactionary liberal-economic racist') party. The grey haired shit. Let's responsibly whip up a load of public xenophobia so we can win the next election shall we David, you gitflap?

Man on street he say, (all from the BBC's "have your say page", link can go fuck itself)
"..every decent person wants some diversity but not a take over ,when you board a London underground train and you are the only white face in a half full carriage and police are patrolling your town warning of East European pick pockets you know immigration has gone too far even immigrants are saying it."

"Send them all back home we are just an island ourselves and we are too full now, deport them all." (sorry, that was a woman, Tina - with an opinion! Whatever next!? Deport them all I say.)

"To be honest, I'm surprised anyone wants to come to live in a nation full of Xenophobic Neanderthals." Ok, that one's for balance, though I did have to correct the spelling and punctuation.

"I have moved from Poland 2 years ago, I from Belarus which is not a part of EU. I have always dreamed to live in the UK. Seriously I can understand immigrants from Eastern Europe, but what is really makes on my nerves is Polish, Czesh and Slovakian chavs, non skilled workers in hoodies who will never understand that they should respect UK and UK's laws. There are makes really bad opinion for the rest. There is in the UK to many domestic chavs already." That's beyond parody, Denis from Cardiff - you should have your own Chat Sh..

..ow