Wednesday, 23 July 2008

ooh look at me I live abroad and it's so weird

and I'm so much cooler than you, I'm going to make you jealous of my lifestyle, safe in the knowledge you won't actually check up on it.
Because I'm a journalist, and the first rule of journalisticalism is; if in doubt exaggerate, or just make it up.
Have been discussing this phenomenon with a friend of mine, using two articles as examples - the first, an oldie but baddie from The Daily Posh Mail (ie Telegraph) from '04, and one from today in The Guardian.
In the Telegraph, your heroic correspondent reports taunting Spanish youths who had been shouting abuse at him, "(adding) a new phrase to their English vocabulary and (going) on my way." This, my contact in La Linea assures me, would be a remarkably stupid, and probably hospital-visit-inducing thing to do. I think what actually happened was, he had abuse hurled at him, and he walked, or ran, away.
Now to the Guardian, where finding illegal nightspots is like a game of cat and mouse, and you have to "hope that the police have not got there first to shut them down." Sounds fucking awesome and dangerous, doesn't it? Sorry.
You don't have to worry about the police, because they VERY rarely do anthing about such places. And finding these bars is just like a game of cat and mouse - one where the mouse has been in the same place FOR YEARS and everyone knows it.
But that wouldn't make such a good story...
Now, I admit, the ones I've seen, some are pretty cute, or pretty cool, but what I did not find myself thinking while there was "what this place needs is a load more English people acting like total gits." I mean, what is the point of a clandestine bar, once some fucknut has printed its address in a fucking national newspaper?


Anonymous said...

What a load of pretentious crap.

discoriggall said...

Jolly good, my idiot Tory (I suspect) friend.