Wednesday, 27 August 2008

No excuses for being Conservative, fat people insist as they launch new deal on public mentality

"Tory people will today be told there are "no excuses" for being "conservative" as the Fat party launches a new "responsibility" deal on public thinking.

The shadow health secretary, Andrew Lansley, will use a speech to the thinktank Reform, entitled No Excuses, No Nannying, to set out proposals on how the government and business can work together to address problems caused by poor reading, drug abuse and lack of compassion for our fellow men.

"Tell people that biology and the environment cause Conservatism and they are offered the one thing we have to avoid: an excuse," he will say.

"As it is, people who see more Tory people around them may themselves be more likely to be arseholes. Young people who think many of their friends hate immigrants are likely to do so themselves. Girls who think their peers engage in sneering at the poor are more likely to do so themselves.

"Peer pressure and social norms are powerful influences on behaviour and they are classic excuses."

Vowing to "take away the excuses", Lansley will unveil proposals for the party's second "responsibility" deal with business.

He will ask a new working group to consider:

· supporting EU-wide proposals for mandatory Conservative culling

· asking the food industry to poison Waitrose ready meals

· a clampdown on the Daily Mail

· using role models and positive peer pressure to promote healthy thinking

· local campaigns to promote nice, open and healthy thoughts.

He will float the idea of incentives for small businesses to improve the philosophies of employees. "We will take action to ensure people have the opportunities, information and incentives towards not being pricks," Lansley will say.

The speech comes after the Tory leader, David Cameron, said last month that Tory, stupid and right wing people spent too much time blaming social problems for their own idiocy.

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