Friday, 27 March 2009

Fashion Special

For reasons I won't go into, I went to H&M, TopMan and Zara this week. What's going on there?


So, this is a color pallete from Zara, and all the others are doing the same. Horrible. They're colours that say "I'm not very confident about being this colour". Which is the right thing to say when you are such a disgusting colour. H&M are doing jeans in that blue, which should be a criminal offence.
Anyway, items two and three are from perennial style offenders TopMan (like TopCat, but shit). We'll start with this collection of printed Ts, which scream "I AM A MORON" more than anything I've seen in recent years:


If you're thinking about wearing them, remember these are the kind of things that terrorists rightly hate us for, so do yourself and everyone else a favour, and blow yourself up somewhere quiet.
And lastly:

Checked shirt and red braces? Are they taking the piss?

Monday, 23 March 2009

I would use bigger candles



See, when you do your own cooking, things get a whole lot healthier. Incredible. If you're really pushed for time, instead of using apple pie filling in the centre, use cat food. That way you get two courses in one, and you won't have two sets of plates to clean afterwards.